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End Of An Era


Today I'm exactly one month away from handing in my last assignment. Ever. Ok, that might be a bit dramatic but technically if I don't do further studies there are exactly two weeks left of lectures and four before it's all over. The weird thing is, I've already lived the last day in my mind, the very first day of uni. As I was admiring my future self from a distance, how all that confidence and knowledge gained over the three years studying had changed me, I was barely recognisable. And yet, now that I've met future me, we are really quite alike. In fact alarmingly too similar.

Am I being too pessimistic? Did I have very naive and unreasonable expectations of myself? Or am I just not looking at this whole thing objectively? I decided that if I was going to dish out criticism to myself over what I had and hadn't accomplished over my time at uni I would do so based on an impartial debate where I'd also do the inimaginable: stand up for myself.

So here's what I got out of it:

19yo self

- Did not have a high school diploma (mind you because of moving countries) and so was definetely going to uni

- Had a certificate III in music

- Had never written an assigment in English or really, studied in English (but at least I spoke it pretty well)

- Had never recorded a song if not directly to a laptop

- Had arranged a few tracks on garage band ( and what a pity it is they were lost when my hard-drive died because they would have been pretty funny to listen to now!)

- Can play chords and somewhat play piano ( I wouldn't really call it playing tbh)

22yo self

- Is about to finish her degree! (third person is weird but I think it makes it easier to be impartial)

- Has learnt what type of music she likes to write (ok this is way too weird)

- I can write a decent pop song and I know how to arrange and mix it (how well is a whole different matter)

- When it's time to write an essay I don't panic like the sky is about to fall out of the sky

- I've learnt how to be Australian ( probably something that only people that have really lived in other cultures can understand)

- In the process I've decided which social conventions I'd like to take on and when I prefer my native ones I have the courage to just be myself

- When I've done something well I can be proud of myself without scuffing it off and diminishing its value

Mmm... I'll be honest there's a lot of things I could list, but lists are pretty boring.


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